When a friend confides in you that they are feeling down and are having trouble coping with depression, it’s natural to want to help. It can be challenging, however, if you are experiencing depression as well. If both of you are dealing with symptoms of depression, the two of you can rely on each other for comfort and speak to each other about your feelings, knowing you are both going through the same thing.

Mutually Depressed Friendships

When two people are both dealing with a crisis, it can feel hard to support one another. For some, employing healthy coping skills to heal together, like going walking or doing yoga, can provide relief. For others, it can be problematic when codependency is a factor.

Codependent thinking can lead you to depend too much on each other for comfort or lead to additional stress by worrying about the other person’s needs before your own. One friend could also pick up negative behaviors or habits from the other person struggling.

Without knowing what to do, friends can drift apart and hurt each others’ feelings. It is important to remember that a friendship does not have to end because you are both going through a hard time.


It can be unhealthy if you feel like you can never say no to your friend or feel obligated to do more than you are capable of. Setting boundaries lets you prioritize taking care of yourself first. This can involve learning how to say no, canceling plans, pushing away toxic friendships, and considering your own mental health before helping a friend.

If your friend says something that is triggering to you, do not be afraid to take a step back. Boundaries should be established by talking with your friend first before any actions occur to avoid shutting them down or hurting their feelings.

Be There For Each Other

You are both on a journey towards healing, a road you can walk together in a healthy way. If your friend is hurting too, invite that friend on your healing journey. If you are going to take a walk for your mental health or engage in a hobby, ask your friend to join. The two of you can also find a therapist to speak to. If this friendship makes you happy, let that be enough.

It can be hard to know what to do if your friend suffers from depression when you are going through the same thing. By learning how to set boundaries and inviting your friend on your mental health journey, you have the potential to keep the friendship alive. At Alta Loma, we understand how depression can interfere with your life. Our transformative treatment center in Georgetown, Texas, can provide you with individualized therapy, life and coping skills education, therapeutic recreational activities, family therapy, and much more. Give us a call at (866) 457-3843 for more information about our services.