Addiction is often called a family disease because it affects the person actively struggling and those around them. Families can be torn apart due to the lies, deceit, and destruction during active addiction. Based on how things end when the person struggling goes to treatment, they may believe that any hope of reconciling with family is impossible.
However, there are ways to reconnect with family and work through underlying issues. Reconciling with a spouse may be especially difficult, so consider these tips as you start to rebuild your relationship in recovery.
While going through active addiction, you most likely did not engage in active communication with your spouse. You probably hid things from them or lied about your actions.
Now that you are sober and wanting to reconcile, the best approach to take is direct communication. You cannot have a successful relationship without it, and your loved ones will be more receptive to you being straightforward rather than trying to hide things. It is best to do it in person to begin a dialogue.
Admit Your Wrongdoing
Taking responsibility for your actions and discussing how they affected the other person will help show that you are genuinely sorry. By doing so, you are showing your spouse that you understand that the things you did hurt them and how you want to make amends. You should genuinely apologize and ask for forgiveness.
Your spouse may not be ready to forgive and forget, and you shouldn’t expect them to be. The hurt you caused most likely impacted them more than you realize, and they will need time to process your apology and heal. Perhaps they will never forgive you, but you have to give them the space needed to help reconcile. Have patience and show them you’re sorry.
Show Your Apology
While you may believe an apology is only verbal, the actions following an apology mean the most. When you show that you are serious about recovery and take action to reconcile with your spouse, they are more likely to believe you. They will see through your actions that you are trying to atone for your wrongdoings and become a positive force in their lives once again.
Repairing things with your spouse following treatment is not an easy task, but it is worth it. It can be difficult to admit your wrongdoings directly, but it is crucial when you are apologizing to someone you care about. If you need help during this time, Alta Loma Transformational Services is here to help. We work with men to overcome addiction and live productive lives in recovery. We can help you take the steps towards spousal reconciliation while still maintaining your recovery. Call us today to learn more at (866) 457-3843.